junk in the trunk

july 4 weekend, ryan, me, his mom and sister kelly went down to florida for a 4-day vacation that happened to overlap with his cousin's wedding. it was a nice little break- very far from a relaxing vacation since there were 12 family members sleeping in the house each night (granted, it's a huge house) and strangers in town for the wedding were coming and going non-stop the entire time we were there. the wedding was nice though, on the beach at sunset, very casual (the groom wore cargo shorts), no chairs or anything, we just stood around the couple. nice and cozy. the rest of the time was spent lounging in the sun, visiting and drinking beer. i was really glad we went.

for 2 months before this "bikini trip" as i called it, i worked vigorously to remove the excess 10-15 pounds i had accumulated since graduation last may. i have been virtually the same size since 9th grade, and this junk in my trunk is quite unacceptable to me. you see, i have always been a pretty athletic person, even through college i kept up with some kind of exercise routine. but since i started working day in and out, that routine has turned into, well, i'd call it sort of a thought process. i can plan all day long to work out when i get home, but i always think of a reason or two not to carry out that plan once my car is parked in the garage.

anyway, around easter, ryan and i made firm commitments to each other to workout, eat healthy, cut back on the beer drinking, and lose a little weight before flaunting our bulging bodies in front of the entire family. (that description is not intended as an insult to ryan of course, simply a statement reflecting our mutual decision to upgrade the health of our lifestyles.) so we did, and by the time we left, i had lost 9 1/2 pounds, and ryan had lost nearly 25.

as proud as i was, it was short lived. once i was there, the crab legs, chips and dip, wedding cake (who can turn down wedding cake?), and endless supply of cold bud lights completely ruined my diet and i have yet to revert back to my healthy habits. no running, no baked chicken, and entirely too much beer drinking to save the belly flab. so, needless to say, all that hard work, while it did its justice somewhat in that i wasn't completely embarrassed in my swimsuit, has been flushed down the drain. i have been told to expect this as i get older. that my metabolism will shut down and all my unhealthy habits will catch up with me, because of my new routine of driving to work sitting in my car, sitting at my desk all day at work, sitting at home watching tv at night, and then sleeping for 7 hours. sounds like a lot of laziness when put into that perspective, but it's like i'm so drained from doing nothing, i don't have the motivation to do anything. if that makes any sense. anyway, i imagine i can at least keep feeling guilty with each bud light and speedy gonzales lunch until that motivates me to do something about it. it's definitely a vicious, vicious cycle, but presently my attitude is, who gives a damn?